ALERT THE MEDIA. I’m going to the toilet. Then put the photographers on standby. I might drink a coffee. And prepare to broadcast this news to the world: I need to cut my fingernails. Why am I sharing mundane non-events? Because that’s what cool people do these days. Humanity has entered the Truman Age. Thanks to the internet, ordinary people share the same publicity platform as celebrities, and we’re making good use of it.