Would you buy a haunted house?
ASIAN INVESTORS ARE outraged after a US court last week said home-sellers no longer have to reveal that their houses were the locations of “shocking or terrible deeds”, which I assume means murders, suicides, massacres, people watching Glee, people eating bacon ice cream sundaes, etc.
As a result, people from this side of the world may end up buying US homes cursed with bad feng shui or awful karma without realizing it.
“The only option is for the Asian buyer to try to re-sell the house by turning the ghastly deed into a selling point,” said a reader named Tiny, who follows investment property in the US.
In celebrity-obsessed America, this may work. I googled the famous haunted house in Amityville, Long Island, and found it was last listed for US$1.15 million—while the UNhaunted home used forThe Amityville Horror movie was a good ten per cent cheaper. Ghosts are good for house prices.
So you can resell it with text like this: “Be a part of history. Buy a house where mass murderers did their thing! AND they probably watched Glee regularly while eating bacon ice cream.”
Some creepy houses:
IN HIS LATEST bizarre act, Kim Jong Un last week sent one kilo of candy to every child in North Korea. How did he avoid raising expectations? Was it tree bark flavor?
“Distributed four million kilos of candy. Mistake. Only five million kilos left for myself.”
A YOUNG WOMAN in Sanya, China, posted a tale on the internet saying: “My cop boyfriend is using his police car to take me out to dinner and hot springs, how cool is that?”
It came complete with pictures of herself in the squad car (above). The media said the post had “got the cop into big trouble” but with a girlfriend that stupid, believe me, he was already in big trouble.
A HUGE aquarium burst in a Shanghai shopping mall, showering passers-by with live sharks. This is the sort of thing that gives women a bad name.
HUSBAND: “How come your expensive new designer outfit is damaged?”
WIFE: “I was in a shopping mall today when these SHARKS flew out of nowhere….”
WATCHDOGS ARE setting up cameras in civil service offices in Kolkata, India, to “ensure staff reach their offices by 10:30 am”, the Times of India said.
By 10:30 am I’ve been at my desk for three and half hours!
There’s something terribly wrong with the work ethic there. I wonder if there are any vacancies?
A READER named Dancer said her tour group had survived eating the killer spicy soup from Wuhan, China, mentioned in this column last week.
The secret? “You dunk every single piece of meat from the soup into water before eating it,” she said.
SEVERAL READERS have lost their jobs lately. I thought we were supposed to be in recovery mode from the economic slump? Hang on in there, guys. I think there’s a shift going on from one type of job to another. Not sure what the Next Big Thing is.
But I know that the rebalance of culture from US-dominated to more balanced will throw up lots of opportunities: so be creative! For example, I just got an email from the gang at Haven Books, a small publisher in Hong Kong, saying that their series called KidsGo has won an award from Parents’ Choice, a US foundation. Well done, guys.
And my wife bought me a sci-fi book as a gift—after making a few checks, I realized that it was not from one of the usual publishers, but was written by an independent guy who published it himself. It’s a good read, and the money goes directly to the author. Clearly this is a good time to try new things…