The No Bath protest

EWWW! Supporters of Anna Hazare, the Indian anti-corruption activist, stopped taking baths. They did this to mark the fact that their hero was denied bathing facilities at Tihar jail.“Not only the residents of Ralegan Siddhi, but all the residents of the Parner Taluka sub-district refused to take a bath today,” legislator Vijay Avti proudly told the Indian news media.

Guys, guys, THINK: this protest does no harm whatsoever to whoever you want to harm but causes immense suffering to your own side.

I just hope my children don’t hear about this. “I’m supporting Anna Hazare by not having showers or cleaning my room for a year.”

Tragically, this is only the second Most Misguided Protest of the past 12 months. First prize ALSO goes to workers in India. In New Delhi in March, unhappy passport office staff organized a “Work Through Lunch” protest followed by a “Work On Saturdays” protest.

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THE GOVERNMENT of China’s state TV operation is broadcasting a series of exposes accusing Internet firm Baidu of being “non-transparent”. That’s ridiculous. That would be like a top Beijing communist flying to Hong Kong to give that city’s ultra-capitalists lectures on how to manage money.Wait. That just happened.

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A MAN IN Sudan was forced to marry a goat. Goat owner Alifi accused neighbor Tombe of having an unnatural level of affection for the animal, according to a BBC piece sent to me by an alert reader.The council of elders in Upper Nile State, ordered Tombe to take the goat as his wife, the Jubal Post newspaper said. "We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Alifi explained.This seems kind of weird to me. I mean, Bill Clinton had an unnatural level of affection for jalapeno cheeseburgers, but that doesn’t meet he should go off and live with one.But then again, I know Hillary would disagree.

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AN ASIAN couple was jailed for conducting a fake marriage in the UK last week when officials noticed the bride miss-spelt the groom’s name. I publish this as an URGENT WARNING to a friend of a friend called Brzeczyszczykiewicz (that’s his real name) and other Poles, Sri Lankans, Thais, etc.

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A FRENCHWOMAN named Monique last week sued her husband/ partner Jean-Louis for 9000 euros for not having made love to her “for several years”, according to a news item sent in by reader Derek Chiu.Derek asked: “Can I sue Scarlett Johansson for never having made love to me?”Not under European law, Derek. But you surely can under American law.

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ASIANS COMMIT fewer crimes simply because they get married, scientists say. “Marriage socializes men,” the Economist reported. “It is associated with lower levels of testosterone and less criminal behavior.”After reading this, my wife now introduces herself as my “probation officer”.

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A PROFESSIONAL footballer said that he had no money to pay child support because he had a Ferrari to maintain, a welfare agency in London revealed last week. Never mind the death penalty, where’s the campaign to re-instate castration?

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Have a good weekend. Remember to be crazy. Everyone else is.