In which your mild narrator says A BAD WORD

THIS FATHER-OF-THREE was inspired to create a piece of Zen wisdom the other day.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with: "Where's the @#$%ing remote?”

Nine hundred and ninety nine miles later, the answer to this question for people with children is:

a) in the fridge,

b) down the toilet,

c) in the dog,

or, thanks to interstellar wormholes,

(d) apparently in …