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A Story of White
The white color in the French Tricolor
flag originated from the royalist white flag under absolute monarchies before
the 1789 French Revolution, with the red and blue representing the heraldic
colors of the city of Paris. During the Second World War, Vichy-France
(German-occupied) used a plain tricolor flag while the Free French used a
“defaced” tricolor, with the Cross of Lorraine drawn on the white-color
vertical band. One could probably interpret the latter as the fight for or
defense of freedom.
In the film musical “The Sound of
Music”, “Edelweiss” is one of the most beloved songs. It is performed by the von Trapp family just before their planned escape from German-occupied Austria
so that Captain von Trapp could avoid being drafted into the Nazi navy. In the context
of that scene, the name of the song can actually imply the pursuit of freedom
(my own take) as well as an expression of national pride. In language, the word
“Edelweiss” is the name of a white mountain flower found in the Alps. Its
German origin actually means “noble white” (“edel” means noble and “weiss” means
white). In the 19th century, edelweiss was a symbol of the rugged
purity of the Alpine region, and in 1907 was established as the insignia of the
Austrian-Hungarian Alpine troops.
In my childhood days, I learned that the
color white is an unhappy color in the Chinese culture. It symbolized death and
grief. In those days, white clothing and white-colored hair ornaments used to
be reserved for funeral parlors and mourning rituals at home. Children who
innocently fiddled with white hairclip or other white trinkets on their hair
would invite immediate tongue-lashing from adults. It would be an unforgivable
faux-pas, for adult or child, to wear white to weddings and birthday banquets,
because one would accuse you of being evil-hearted as to wish bad luck on the
hosts and hostesses. In those days, only very few families were westernized
enough to allow their daughters to wear white bridal gowns at weddings. The
popular choice of wedding garments for a bride was a red satin surcoat with a
stiff high collar and a full-length red satin skirt, with the surcoat heavily
embroidered with silver- and gold-threads woven into phoenixes.
As I grew into adolescence, such
traditional color dogma was beginning to dissipate as society grew a little
accustomed to Western culture with the invasion of Hollywood films. White
weddings were becoming more and more common. White tulle frocks could be found
in high-end department stores but only movie stars and girls from very well off
families were able to afford them. Having a pretty white tulle frock remained a
distant dream for me the whole time. The problem was of course my mother
couldn’t afford to buy such luxury.
Here is my story about a white tulle
frock.
When I was in Form 3, I got baptized on
the persuasion of Catholic nuns at school. When the time came for my
Confirmation, I was thrown into mental anguish as I was required by custom to
wear a white frock for the occasion. At that time, my entire wardrobe only
consisted of my school uniforms and a couple of printed cotton shirts and corduroy pinafores
which were all hand-made by my maternal aunt. I never had a proper girlish dress,
not to mention a white frock. I had been to other classmates’ Confirmation
ceremonies previously and had admired so much some of their fancy white tulle
frocks with pretty lace trimmings and puff sleeves, which made them look really
angelic. What was I going to do? After a few weeks’ nagging, I finally got my
mother to ask around for a second-hand white frock among relatives. A cousin
happened to have a second-hand white tulle frock handed down to her by another
distant cousin and was willing to pass it on to me. When I heard the news I was
beside myself with joy. But the joy was short-lived. I should have known that high
expectations would more often than not turn into sour disappointments. I was instantly
reduced to tears the moment I laid eyes on the third-hand frock. It was a
pitiful, crumpled, off-whitish to yellowish bundle of limp, over-washed,
fabric. And it was too big a size for me too.
On the day of the ceremony, I felt so
dejected in that frumpy frock that I just hid myself in a corner of the school
playground and didn’t even had the courage to walk up to greet my godmother. I
waited till everybody had gone inside the chapel and then slipped myself in.
Shortly after the ceremony I joined the
Legion of Mary, where I learned an important lesson. Doing volunteer charity work
under the Legion made me realize that helping others could give me a sense of
satisfaction that no pretty white frock ever could.
Today, white is still my favorite color,
and for me, it still symbolizes liberty, especially liberty of thought.