Blog

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My position on gender and toilets

A WOMAN WAS SACKED for having short hair and wearing trousers to work recently. “They said I was gay,” she complained to an unsympathetic Labor Tribunal in the city of Guiyang, southwest China. How could her... Read More...
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I’m outing myself: I identify as a potato

It’s 2055. Phones are painted onto our palms. Being transgender is compulsory, except for Popes, who have to be female. All countries have combined into one big nation, North Zuckerberg. No, wait. Maybe life... Read More...

MONDAY MOANING BLUES: THOUGHTS ABOUT SILENCE

I TOLD MY CHILDREN THE HORRIFIC TRUTH about life in the old days: “And at about 11.30 every night, they would play the national anthem and we would pretend to stand up and every screen went blank. And all scree... Read More...

Hard Cheese! Authentic is the New Luxe

The term ‘mass luxury’ is a contradiction. It makes no sense, except of course in marketing parlance, when it becomes potent. True luxury in the consumerist Edwardian sense – a Fabergé egg let’s say, comprising... Read More...

Leading Vietnam Blogger Draws Five-Year Sentence

The Hanoi People’s Court on March 23 sentenced prominent independent blogger Nguyễn Hữu Vinh, known also by his pen name Anh Ba Sam or “Brother Gossip,” to five years in prison for charges related to his work. ... Read More...
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THE DAY 16 WOMEN ESCAPED THEIR MARRIAGES

WIFE: “The house is on fire! Get the kids out first!” ME (Stuffing Star Wars figurines collection into pockets): “I’m on it! Really soon! Almost immediately!” *** Fortunately, it turned out to be a dre... Read More...
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Smart pets harm my self-esteem

A DOG HAS LEARNED TO READ. Fernie, a two-year-old Labrador from the UK, can read four words and is working on another 20, says his owner, a teacher. The growing intelligence of animals worries me, as I well ... Read More...
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4 examples of knee-jerk reactions

Now that my children are all on Facebook I don’t punish them for misdeeds any more. I just tag them on old family pictures of them pooping at the poolside etc. Mwa ha ha. *** But I was scolded by a ... Read More...